Nebula
Prelude
Climbing the stairs is tedious but the apartment with the skylight is worth it there are stars up there somewhere I know but too much light wonder if we covered the top of every light in the city would the stars come back reflective covers to send more light down and no light up save energy too and need less bulbs save money maybe except for the cost of the reflectors not worth it but the yellow haze at night up through the window is peaceful maybe more than the stars light pollution like a blanket on the city pushing down on us even light has weight can’t be much though but with enough of it could you ever get enough light to feel the weight of it the milky way spinning round in the sky every night might make me dizzy or sick can’t even stand up too fast without getting lightheaded any more should start my workout videos again or buy a stationary bike or something my heart will give out if it can’t even keep blood pumping when I stand too quick who would find me first if it gave out now a few days of not showing for work no one would notice just post my position and fill it after a week easily replaced maybe the neighbors smell me through the wall or dripping through the floor the gas leaking out of my body set off the carbon monoxide detector and the building empties and me dead and this couch sopping up whatever juices leave the body first wonder what organ goes first if I’m awake probably the eyes if asleep eyelids would keep them then maybe the brain through the ears or the bladder pops and leaks down the inside of the body and out of the butthole or would it go down into my toes researchers paying participant $100,000 to be first human to enter deep space alive on one way trip first name Dylan last name Metres address 1989 S Naissance Way #415, New York, NY weight how much do I weigh again must be almost two hundred pounds 185 upload resume tomorrow who will they give my $100,000 to I’ll tell them my parents I should take some with me geocache in space orbiting some other galaxy wonder what space does to a decaying body maybe all organs go at the same time in space not dripping or sopping just floating around in small blobs red and white and yellow there is no sound in space wonder if there is smell which of my pictures would they put on my page in the textbooks that kids read probably will take a picture before launch in the spacesuit and use that one doubt they will pick me wonder how many will even apply maybe I’d come back or someone will come for me at least have radio communication and tv or books or who knows what you get to take four hours until I have to be at work and haven’t slept do I need to brush my teeth last time was this morning but didn’t use toothpaste but rinsed with mouthwash twice better brush tastes fresh wonder which way the water spins around the drain on the moon the light is still laying like a blanket above the skylight could do reflectors with switches open and closed blanket of light pollution then stars blanket stars blanket stars blanket stars every other night or maybe every other week I wonder what picture they would use in the news and in the textbooks probably just take one in my suit before I launch pizza on the coffee table shouldn’t go bad in four hours I’ll eat it when I wake up don’t need to put it away.
1
Red glow Chinese lamps blanket
Every booth in the buffet with paper
Ambience; chopsticks stand in my fingers as I stare
At the booth bench across from me, faded
From vibrant red on edges into a swirling galaxy of brown
Where hungry patrons have sat and eaten
It away. Where does it go?
Microscopic pieces of pleather stuck
To the ass of their pants and taken home.
Three months and I’ll be a speck of pleather
In the Milky Way ass crack of God, laughing
A young couple walks outside in dirty window night,
Scurry through the drizzle and eclipse from sight.
2
I’ve checked the caution and warning,
On the periscope - what a beautiful view,
You got the V-torquing,
Clock is started, fuel is a go, 1.2
And I see a star,
The sky is very black,
How do you read me? Over.
Watch the trajectory closely, Jack.
We don’t have a story on why
The inboard out was early,
Affirmative, and stand by,
You’re S-IVB to orbit capability.
Everything looks good.
Everything looking good.
3
And I was never meant to fly
This close, but her gravity
Has tricked me from my trajectory
- The moon of Neptune -
Water-soft fingers plucked my silver cocoon
From the black branch where I had hung
Seven years, and ripened,
Signaling this trip’s end.
Knowing now how my dayless days will close,
I smile at the photos that they chose,
Sip cold coffee, dunk a freeze dried roll,
And picture my alien dust being raked across her pole.
Postscript
I couldn’t make out
Through the rain
On my windshield
The names of the streets
Rowing past,
Her dress soaked
Up the puddles
I swam in
Her footsteps.
The oceans look so little
From beyond the moon.
My waste,
flushed into space
will orbit
For millennium,
Skip across the atmosphere,
And in a fizzle (one may wish upon) disappear.
Contributor
Jonathan Taylor
Jonathan Taylor studied Poetry at the University of Idaho and Boise State University where he earned his B.A. in 2014. Since then he has been teaching in rural Idaho where he lives with his wife and identical triplet daughters. He begins his M.F.A. at the University of Texas el Paso in the Fall of 2020.